Broad Audit

Went to the State Fair last month for bunnies, cowboy boots and fried foods. This stuff – baby livestock, giant pumpkins, fried anything, shami cloth demonstrations, lionhead rabbits, potato art contests… is what separates the State Fair from the shitty carnivals that show up at Mt Trashmore. The “kill you” rides, paying to view a midget on a couch, and amazing dayglow outfits are also worth mentioning.

This state fair I had my first experience with fried soda – nasty. I thought for some reason I’d be able to drink it (how do you fry a beverage??), but it’s actually soda syrup inside batter, then fried. I think. Like a dirty sugar nugget. It was edible, but nothing I’d ever want again.

After eating every fried vegetable I could find, I tried to go to the bathroom. This lady’s stall door was wide open and I saw her vagina so I held my pee until we got home.